Empathy and Understanding Others

Empathy is simply the capability of Exploring, Enhancing and allowing people to Be as they Are.

There is so much Suffering in today’s World and In general, it looks as though the World is suffering of and for a lack of Empathy.

The main Conflicts at every level (from a Social/Intercultural/Religious/Political Level to our Personal Lives) are created by a diffuse Will to Consider too much our Subjectivity and Impose to another our Point of View (or Will) forgetting that the real Social Evolution and Personal Development come from an Authentic Listening of the other, from his/her Cultural differences, but also from his/her Individuality in terms of Experienced, Thoughts and Emotions. 

Everybody of us have got a Story and a Gift to the World ables to enrich the Spirit of the other, but a deep, genuine and unselfish Sharing can happen just through a real Empathic Contact.

In Developmental Psychology, Empathy is defined as the Action of Understanding, Being Aware of, Being Sensitive to, and Vicariously Experiencing the Feelings, Thoughts, and Experience of Another from the Complete Understanding of another’s Emotional State in the present Moment to what the other Person is Feeling or would be Expected to Feel in a given situation. Basically, an Empathetic person just Intuitively Knows. 

Empathy Improve Health and Healthy Human Relationships

As the Psychologist Daniel Goleman, Father of the Term “Emotional Intelligence”, affirms, without Empathy a person is “Emotionally Tone Deaf”.

For Goleman, good Emotional Intelligence (EI) promotes Self-Awareness and Good Self-Management, but also a strong Awareness of others and better Capabilities of Social Relationships (in the Private Life, but also in the Workplace). 

Establishing a direct link with Neurology, the Psychologist argues that the Moods and Actions of an Empathetic Person in a Group have a Positive impact on others and he/her Promotes the development of Empathetic Behaviors in the same Group. In other words, when a Person sends Positive signals of Understanding and Compassion, these Signals may modify the Hormone Levels, Heart Rate and, in some cases, the Immune System of another Individual. This is what He calls “interpersonal Limbic Regulation”.

Challenge yourself to Improve your Empathy Capability

“Empathy is Seeing with the Eyes of another, Listening with the Ears of another and Feeling with the Heart of another.” Alfred Adler

Empathy is a developable Skill in Men and in Women. Sometimes Life can be so Fuzzy and Distracting that it becomes harder to Focus on what is going on around us but also to the real Needs of our Beloved Ones. Less we are Present in the here and Now, than harder it is to tune into other people’s Emotions, Needs and Intentions.

Here 5 Coaching Tips to train the Empathy Ability and your Emotional Intelligence:

Ask yourself what you are Feeling. It could be sounds as a non-sense but an Authentic Listening can be Developed only passing through a deep Listening and Awareness of ourselves. In Fact many of our Emotions and Reactions are in part a Reflection of what another person is Feeling. For this Reason practicing “Emotional Awareness” on yourself will help you Empathize when you are with others. This requires you Teach your Mind to recognize your Basic Emotional Patterns and to start a Personal Development Path to solve eventual inner Conflicts.

Keep an Open Mind and Positive Attitude. The more Open you are to others and to the unexpected, the more you will be able to Receive Informations from the other reality and consequently to Empathize.

Prioritize direct Conversation. Optimal communication will avoid many conflicts. When we are Calm and others feel listened to and Understood, they will be more inclined to negotiate over the conflicting situation and to Find an Effective Solution able to Embrace the needs of both. Learn to “Walk in others’ shoes” and feel free to say others about what it is like to “walk in their shoes” about their Issues.

Ask better Questions. Cultivate a genuine sense of Curiosity about the other Person Feelings, Experiences and/or Problems can make the other felt more Appreciated. What can you Learn from the other Person Point of View? What can you Learn from his/her Situation? How can you Contribute to his/her Life in the Present Moment?

Listen to with the Heart and not just the Head. 

Author: Cristina Capucci

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