Self-discipline and emotional control affect the way that we express or communicate our emotions. Emotions affect our cognitive functions and our ability to handle stress in every moment of our life: both stressful moments but also tedious/boring ones.
To control our emotions doesn’t mean to repress them, but have a clear vision on them in many circumstances of our life. Our emotions are deeply connected to our cognitive functions and to know our emotional state can help us to understand how will be able to perform also under pressure from the circumstances or/and the environment.
How do you react when you are stressed? And when you are bored? Or when you aren’t able to solve a problem? Do you know your limits? Do you know your inner resources? Do you know how to train yourself to see clearer into your emotional state?
The ability to become aware of our own emotions and the emotions of those around us, and the ability to discern how to respond to both appropriately is an extremely essential part of life to conduct a healthy and positive life and to develop good relationships with ourselves and others. This capability is defined emotional intelligence.
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional intelligence is the ability to notice, comprehend our own and other people’s emotions, and to use these informations guide our thoughts, focus and behaviors. While this quality is innate to human beings (the same thing as intellectual intelligence) it is also possible to develop and improve this skill.
Emotional intelligence is a skill that can be developed. Emotions are not “good” or “bad”: emotions simply are but behaviors can be “good” or “bad” according to a social code (such as respect) till according the law.
After that we can discern between the emotions which improve our energy or those that lower our sense of presence, vitality and a general sense of well-being. Our ability to discern and to recognize our emotional state is the barometer to improve our emotional intelligence and to make effective and functional choices in our life to realize a positive, constructive and fulfilling lifestyle.
People with a solid awareness about their emotions, control on them and a well-developed emotional skills are more likely to be content and effective in their daily lives, developing presence and mastering the habits of mind that encourage their own effectiveness.
The Four Components of Emotional Intelligence
There are four main components of emotional intelligence. The first two are about the relationship with ourselves, while the remaining two concern our relationship with others.
1 Self-Consciousness: Being Aware of our Emotions.
Knowing ourselves and being conscious of our emotions is the first component of emotional intelligence. Becoming even more aware of ourselves concerns observing our own emotions, distinguishing our different Reactions and then accurately knowing what kind of emotion we are presently having.
2 Self-Control: the Managing our own Emotions.
Knowing our emotions is just the decision to start of a journey. Learning how to manage them is the road in front of us. Properly managing our impulses and compulsive behaviors allow us to be on top of every Situation. Most people have a commitment problem because they don’t know their emotions first place, so they are not aware by which force they are moved, consequently also their goals become ineffective and not achievable because they are not clear in their mind.
3 Sensitivity: Being Aware of the Emotions of Others.
The third component of emotional intelligence is being sensitive to the emotions of other people and/or people that we say that we care.
This is about to understand or try to understand others and putting ourselves in their position without being emotionally affected by it. It also means to identify the leverages that move their actions, their emotional needs and making others feel comfortable with our presence.
Obviously it is impossible to be emotionally emphatic with everyone, this is the reason why we should be able to become wise selectors of the people that we desire close to us and the one to avoid because “negative generators of emotional “toxicity” for our wellbeing and once that we know our emotions we also can know the reasons and the assumptions why we decide to avoid certain people and situations.
4 Sociability: The Ability of Live Harmoniously our Relationships
The last component of emotional intelligence is sociability. This aspect involves the ability to handle at best our life’s relationships and making them more fulfilling and significative.
The first three aspects actually conclude on this one. Our ultimate aim in developing emotional intelligence should be to become more relatable.
It involves different kinds of skills, for example communication skills and secondary the development of skills that create in us a sense of personal realization and a profound sense of fulfillment. Sociability also includes harnessing teamwork in a group and our ability to handle conflicts and disagreements.
Author: Cristina Capucci